Ten things you (probably!) didn't know about cellphones!

(1) Cellphones (Mobile phones in the UK) are really MICROWAVE transmitters which send out the same kind of waves that cook your dinner. Some people believe that spending too much time on your mobile can warm up - or even start to cook your brain, though this has not been totally proven.
                                    
(2) Cellphones work by linking up with a network of cells, called 'Base Stations'. Each of these contains very complex digital technology to process, transfer & route your call. There are tens of thousands of these in the UK alone!

(3) The further your cellphone is from a Base Station - the more microwave power it puts out when you're in a call. More microwave power drains your battery more quickly, and may be more damaging to health. Powerful Base Stations in crowded areas have been linked with cancer & leukemia in children, but this is not fully proven.

(4) Some cellphone masts are disguised as trees, lamp-posts, flag poles or advertising signs - and can look quite convincing!

(5) Your cellphone constantly 'talks' to all the Base Stations in its range. It lets them know where it is - and where it's moving to. This enables your call to be passed from mast to mast, seamlessly. However...

(6) ... this means that your cellphone can be tracked & traced whenever it is switched on. The Network can locate your position sometimes within 5 METERS of accuracy. This means that if you're carrying a cellphone, and it's switched on - the authorities know exactly where you've been, where you are - and where you're heading! Your cellphone can literally be used as a TRACKING DEVICE!

(7) If asked to do so, network providers like AT&T, Rogers or Vodafone can open up the microphone on your cellphone, enabling anny background sounds or conversations to be recorded. This can be done very simpy - and works as long as your phone is on. Some phones can even be switched on remotely, but most can't. Your cellphone can be made to ACT AS A BUG!

(8) In the UK, ALL cellphone calls, text messages & handset locations are logged by the govenment - and details are kept on record for up to SEVEN YEARS!

(9) In 2011, ALL non-3G cellphones will stop working in most of Europe & the UK, when old-style transmitters are switched off, to make way for new technologies.

(10) There are more cellphones in use in the UK than there are people!

Now you're an expert on cellphones!

An ordinary sort of day?

One of those surreal kind of days, quite removed from reality in some ways.


Started at wake-up, when I was totally convinced it was Saturday morning, so I lazily remained in bed, noting brilliant sun outside whilst planning a leisurely breakfast, perhaps at IKEA, or the caravan club over in Sully. The noise of the garbage truck passing by jolted a few brain cells into action and was slightly disturbing - the garbage truck comes on Tuesday, NOT Saturday! Has the council gone mad? Or was it me?

It WAS me - it was in fact Tuesday, and I was late. After realizing I'd lost the coffee, and the plot as well, I threw on suit number 3 and shirt number 7, finding the coffee in the freezer in the process.Too late for a cup anyway - just time to fire up the Skoda!

Arriving at The Hub, miraculously on time, I proceded to acquire a crispy breakfast roll, essential for generating energy & indeed the will to live. I'm always left alone whilst eating > I have been known to confuse colleagues, and even Weevils for food whilst in feeding mode. I am therefore guaranteed not to be disturbed whilst in possession of bacon, which is a good thing for all concerned.

The rest of the day moved on fairly quickly, as ever, problems to solve, people to see, important things to do - and countless people telling me to do things which are, of course more important. Manic emails from the Boss with more, even more vital things to do, and even sooner, and a load of things to plan, for yesterday.

Lunch was disappointing - grey meatballs, allegedly made of pork, but more likely to be cotton wool, soaked in barbecue sauce. Then there was the soggetti - like spaghetti, but flaccid, limpid and totally flavorless. Quite horrible, and an altogether unpleasant experience. I was then offered an alien delicacy to sample. It resembled cheese - with an aftertaste of Marmite, or perhaps Bovril. It was something I'll never forget. I may have been psychologically damaged by it.

Every Tuesday ends in blah blah... the meeting that reduces the brain to pudding, and makes suicide by shark seem, by comparison, a pleasurable experience, one even to look forward to. As ever, half a rainforest is passed round the table, all to be filed in the bin immediately afterwards, of course unread.

After the first few minutes, someone says it's cold - so the air con goes off. It's actually baking, and within seconds, the room is so hot, that the fruit visibly shrivels, and later - even steel objects vaporise, and the fiery atmosphere draws everyone into dessicated unconsciousness.

At last, proof that God exists, as papers start to shuffle, the PowerPoint is switched off, and people start to move to the door. It really is a miracle... we're finishing TWENTY MINUTES EARLY!! Huzzah!!

Then Bigmouth opens it, and it all kicks off again. Another 45 minutes of pointless misery talking about trivia, and people sink back into their seats, forlorn.

Now I'm home - had Morrison's self-service salad and chili flavored pilchards for tea, & now it's time for New Tricks!



Awesome!!
xxNite!

A surreal day in Cardiff?

Well, to be honest, last night was pretty depressing, with Wales losing to France and therefore being denied a Grand Slam, but at least on the positive side, it was a good, tense game - and more importantly, it was France... not England who snatched it from us!


Woke up feeling about as uninspired as an aphid about to enter a ladybird colony, and with not a lot planned. Hanging heavily at the back - and front of my mind was 6,500 tonnes of work I have to get sorted sometime before Monday, and a total lack of willpower to get started on the task. No doubt, Sunday will be fun!


Was lying kinda comatose on the couch, making perpetualy mental excuses not to go out, and the phone rang. A couple of friends were coming into Cardiff - and offered a meet up & lunch. Within minutes - another call, and another offer of a trip into CF. So, Saturday sorted - I found some clothes, threw them on, and headed for the rail station @ Queen Street.

Walking down Queen Street, our main shopping street, was a surreal experience. Crossing the road by the traffic lights, I encountered a group of pirates in full gear - one with a massive cutlass, another with an IKEA stuffed blue parrot. The group descended upon a nearby cashpoint and raided it mercilessly, I think, of eighty quid! All were given massive hi-fives largely by passing emos, who seem to like pirates. Must check up on that one!

Further down the street, I became aware of crazy violin music. I quickly discovered this was coming from a violin - being played by an American, walking a tightrope slung between two trees. A large crowd gathered as he fiddled & walked away, cracking passable jokes as he did so! After watching for a few minutes & taking in the atmoshere & sheer oddness, I continued down the street to discover...


... a chalk circle with pentagrams & mystic signs and four FIRE EATERS swallowing flames and blowing them out, like hyperactive dragons at a fire-fest. I wondered what fire must taste like - and thought probably somewhere between an over-spiced vindaloo curry and cooking oil. The show was pretty spectacular, the crowd wee impressed - as were the film crew that appeared to be reccording the event!


Walking on, and past the pirates again, I encounterd a band playing classic rock tracks very admirably. Thee guys were into their 50's, but drew the biggest crowds of all. Lots of Floyd, Focus, Dire Straits, etc... powerful sound.. very good... had to linger for quite a while!


Moving past the living, breathing, moving statue (Malcolm) - as always, totally white and dressed like Mozart, I noticed he was more animated than usual, jumping off his box several times, runniing into the assembled crowd and terrifying a number of small children - possibly to the stage of terminal heart failure, or at least an urgent change of pants!


At this point I noticed that about 85% of the living, breathing population - ie, those without zimmer frames & blue rinses, were either emo, indie, metalheads, skater or generally rockers of some other related style. It appeared that chavs and even townies were becoming extinct, and this really was a lift! Suprise too, didn't realize how far styles & culture had moved over here, and at such a fast pace. Too many silly gnome hats though - what's that all about?

Finally, to the brand new Wagamama - a Japanese 'fast food' style restaurant in the heart of the newly-developed Hayes area. Totally packed and very tasteful - complete with pirates(!) and 100% emo waiters who thankfully helped us make sense of the menu! I had a hot chicken curry'ish kind of thing with sticky rice & some skewer things which were HOT and supremely delicious.


An awesome eating experience, and great eye-candy too.


Now I'm at home, impossibly tired & enjoying a 'medicinal' Southern Comfort!


Nite! xx

Some classic disappointments & failures!

An ever growing collection of things which promise so much & sound so fantastic, but which have brought me tear-jerking disappointment and near-fatal depression!

Number 1... Southern Comfort, the grand old drink of South Wales!

 

I've always liked the sound of Southern comfort, but never tried it... Had visions of it being the ultimate, manly drink, full of fire & flavor. Spirits were lifted high on Tuesday, when The Spar in Dinas (where I live) had it on offer... £9.99 for a 70cl bottle! Brought two.. Bargain!!

Got home, shaking with excitement as I opened the bottle for a tiny tempting taster. Took a sip and fell to the floor in abject horror. Tasted like sticky whiskey with too much sugar added.. 

Awful, not awesome! Southern Comfort fails!

Number 2... Derek Acorah, the world renowned ghost hunter!

 

So many people had said to me watch out for this guy – he's a genuine psychic who conjures up confused spirits, and chatters cheerfully with them... Well, I am a sceptic, so I ignored this recommendation mercilessly.

Later, Derek Acorah appears in The Mirror – and gets a great write-up for his 'Most Haunted' show on Living TV (unfortunate channel!) - gets a 3 Star rating! So I decide to watch dear Derek in action, half convinced I'd see something convincing.

Joy of joys... whilst nibbling Hobnobs at home on a hot holiday, I note Derek's on TV in ten minutes! The excitement mounts.. the show starts.. and my expectations rise, only to be instantly deflated like a weather balloon in a washing machine on a wet & windy Wednesday.

The show is abjectly stupid. More cheesy than Mr. Brie at a cheesefest in Cheddar on Cheeseday. Derek is unconvincing, and spends his time looking shocked, shaking and making shallow comments whilst co-hosts and researchers rush around relentlessly, screaming like dizzy dozy dervishes in the heights of over-staged battle. Even more stupidly, it's all filmed in night vision, and camera angles & incidental sounds make the whole show camper than a cucumber at a transvestite convention in Brighton.

Derek's a disappointment. Acorah fails!

Number 3... The Giant Anteater!

 

Lives in South America, moves slowly and looks kinda sweet. Is totally sleek, has strong, furry arms and an odd face, with soulful, friendly,gorgeous brown eyes. David Tennant – eat your heart out!

When threatened, for example, by a passing cosmetics salesman, the creature walks slowly over to its perceived aggressor, and strokes them with its hunky hands, drawing them ever closer. Looking at you with its gorgeous eyes glinting, it then begins to hug you gently – and then crushes your rib cage with its powerful arms. As your lungs are forced thru your open mouth, and as you collapse dying to the floor in shock & disappointment, it uses its razor-like claws to disembowel you, before sidling off silently, and with just seconds to live.

Cute that it appears, the Giant Anteater is a nasty piece of work.. and fails!

Back to reality?

Eventually got back down to Cardiff after a long haul from Edinburgh. Took a different route, this time thru Midlothian & Lanarkshire. Fantastic scenery included steep mountains, massive hills and odd, undulating glacial valleys. Must go back to the ‘lowlands’ – they’re awesome!

Arriving back here, an over-whelming thirst & a need to extend my holiday to the very last minute led me to head for the local hills, and to The Star, my local. Pear cider was an essential medicine. Led me to a rapid recuperation! Upon reflection, the week seems to have flown by, and I’m looking forward to Easter, when I’ll no doubt go somewhere else on my travels. I’ve never been able to stay at home – I love to get away & always do whenever I get the chance.

Today, the return to work was OK. I was shattered at the start of the day, but gathered energy as it progressed. Oddly, I even managed to stay focused during a meeting – and even contributed. Was amazed actually. Normally, I become bored instantly and glaze over during such events. Within seconds of sitting down, my mind wanders & I enter a parallel universe, within which, sleek bikers on superbikes, Andrew van Wyngarden and the entire cast of Torchwood float effortlessly by, interacting seamlessly with people from my real world. It’s a fascinating place to be, though unnerving at times, especially when one returns, briefly to the real world as a result of hearing my name being called loudly, or by the sound of my own asthmatic snoring.

Having had tea (jumbo prawns & Morrison’s ‘serve yourself’ salad) I’m now trying to work out how to organize my evening. I have to shower, do some planning & also sort out some paperwork. I also have to update my iPhone... need to delete some overplayed tunes and add some new stuff. The Medic Droid & White Lies will be on there first, and I think Weezer & Throbbing Gristle may be given the sack!

I also want to look at what bikes cost these days.. two years without one, and talking to Jack recently has rekindled my desire for a new one.

Later in the week, two long evening meetings which will be as stimulating as root canal treatment, a meal with Ash which will be awesome and a BIG Wales game to watch on Friday, no doubt that’ll be a nerve-racking experience!

Gotta go.. work to do!

Some tips if you fancy visiting Wales' Number 1 city!


Cardiff Bay is clearly a must, as it's the main location for Torchwood
and features frequently in many episodes of Doctor Who. Also, all Bay locations are within easy walking distance from each other.

The Bay is highly attractive, and is a great place just to wander, and take in the atmosphere. It has been describe as one of the UK's most iconic locations, and attracts hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of Welsh, UK and international visitors each year.

Within the Bay, there's Plas Roald Dahl, and of course the Millennium Water Tower (Torchwood Hub) plus the Millennium Center, used as the Cat Nurse Hospital in the New Earth episode of Doctor Who. This is well worth a visit, and a great place to have a coffee, or a meal.

Mermaid Quay is the heart of the Bay, with an incredible number of international restaurants, including The Bosphorus (Turkish) where Doc who took Margaret Slitheen for a 'final' meal. There are also trendy & more comfortable bars, great for a refresher, or a drink in the evening.

There's also the Welsh Assembly Senedd & Pier Head Building, all which you can visit, free of charge. On a nice day, you can walk round the Bay, past St. David's Hotel and via a boardwalk to a saltmarsh nature reserve, complete with birds & attractive views. This is approximately a 20 minute round-trip on foot from the Senedd.

If you're feeling more adventurous, you can walk past the Norwegian Church Gallery & Cafe (worth a photo or two) and the Cardiff Bay Museum (looks like an alien space pod, and worth a 20 minute 'look' and it's free) and along the new route, thru Cardiff Docks to Cardiff Bay barrage. The Barrage featured in Torchwood, and is a spectacular structure of locks & machinery with fantastic views back to the Bay, and across the Bristol Channel. On a good day, you can see the Severn Bridge, and Weston-super-Mare.

You can walk across the Barrage to Penarth Marina, again, worth a pic or two, and then either get the Aquabus back to Mermaid Quay (£2) or onwards to the Millennium Stadium in the heart of Cardiff city.

This walk & Aquabus trip would probably take an hour, plus any 'lingering' time, and would be well worth it. If you had less time – you could take a return boat trip (£4.50) from Mermaid Quay to the Barrage, and either come straight back on the same Aquabus, or break your journey in Penarth and come back on the next bus.

Near to Cardiff Bay (5 mins walk) is the Red Dragon Center. It's all under cover, with inexpensive restaurants and bars, bowling, cinemas and.. the Doctor Who museum. This is not a big place, be warned, and it does cost a fiver to get in, but for Doctor Who groupies & officianados, like me, it's probably worth a visit, though half an hour and fifty photographs will probably see you out & ready for coffee!

Cardiff City is not easily walkable from the Bay. You'd need to take a bendybus or Aquabus to get you there easily. In the city, there are obviously lots of shops, and a couple of decent malls. More interestingly, there are loads of Victorian shopping arcades, mostly off the High Street & The Hayes. These are attractive, eccentric and just great places to soak up the atmosphere of Cardiff and its history. There's also Cardiff Market - typical & traditional, and near some very good pubs & eateries! Try a pie at the Cornish Pie Shop!!

There's Cardiff Castle, it costs to get in, but you can walk in the park around it free of charge. It's in the center of town, so easy to see. There's also the National Museum of Wales (free) set in a beautiful park, and surrounded by majestic buildings. I hate museums, but this one even gets me interested, and would be a great place to spend an hour or longer, and then to have a picnic in the park outside. Everybody does it!

Car parking is expensive in Cardiff city, so it's best to come in on foot, by train or by bus.

For a longer stay, or if you want to wander, there is...

1.Penarth – 4 miles. Cosy Victorian seaside town with small pier & sea front!

2.Barry & Barry Island – 6 miles. Seaside town with good sands but too many chavs. Some nice walks though, and it's very cheap & cheerful!

3.St. Fagan's museum of Welsh life & heritage (free) – 3 miles. Fantastic place to spend half a day. Massive site, buildings from all ages moved from their original locations and moved to St. Fagan's. There are also displays & reinactments and lots of Welsh is spoken. It's a must if you have the time!

4.Rhondda heritage park – 15 miles (£4) Built on the site of an old coal mine, your chance to explore life as it was in the Valleys. You get a guide too. Well worth a couple of hours too, if you have the time.

Further afield, Swansea & Gower (awesomely spectacular) – 50 miles are great locations for your next trip to South Wales!

Finally, accommodation in Cardiff center can be very expensive, but it's cheaper in the suburbs and in Penarth. I can't really recommend, cuz I've never used hotels and B&B here, but I am told that even expensive hotels offer bargain deals if you book in advance, or more easily, via places like expedia.com or lastminute.com.

I've heard that the Big Sleep is OK and reasonable, and I know more reasonable places are found in Roath & Canton, but I'd definitely want to see pictures & read reviews before I booked.

I think if you're prepared to look around on the internet, you'll pick a decent room up for perhaps £45, but that would involve availing of offers & deals. However, a day is too short, and if you have the cash to stay, it may be worth investing in a night or two's accommodation so as too make the most of our great City!

 

Roald Dahl Plass in Cardiff Bay. Spectacular by day and by night!

Sadly, this is not a joke!!

A couple go into a restaurant full of Brits, Europeans & Americans. The service is lousy, and the food abysmal. Their food is over salted and the wrong drinks turn up. The waiter spills wine on the woman's top & the bill is wrong. They're then short-changed as they leave. Much the same happens to everyone else. It's a disaster!

The Irish guys: Complain, but smile thru it. Say 'never mind' & refuse to pay the bill. They leave smiling.

The French couple: Walked out when the waiter was rude & then complain by letter.

The German Family: Are cross & outraged. There's a flaming row when a burned steak turns up. They then leave frostily - without paying.

The Americans: Photograph & film everything. Complain & contact their attorney.

The British guys: Complain continually amongst each other and are clearly unhappy and very pissed off. Everything is wrong! The waiter comes, and asks how the meal was. He smells strongly of cigarette smoke. They tell him the meal was 'lovely' - paying the chef compliments. They pay the bill AND leave a very decent tip.  They then continue to slag off the restaurant, the food & the waiter all the way home!.

Does this national trait of acceptance and compliance explain why we are so downtrodden, and why we just sit back whilst our country is turned into a police state?


Of course it does!