A sad day for British comedy?

 

Well, unless I'm a monkey's uncle, we all fully understand & appreciate that Frankie Boyle's a comedian who plays it close to the knuckle. His legendary sardonic humor works so well as he reflects life - and he tells it like it is. Frankie takes no prisoners and can be distasteful, but his 'victims' are not limited to particular races or social classes: anyone & everyone are considered fair game.

His ability to make ordinary situations side-splittingly funny and his observational wisecracks are indeed his trademark, and the reason his shows are invariably sell-outs, and his regular appearances on so many panel shows.

It was only a matter of time, however, before the politically-correct namby-pambies got their claws out and into him. In fact, I'm amazed he was allowed to be so artistically free for so long. Our UK culture has long been one which stifles originality & restricts free speech on the basis that it will offend at least somebody.

If Frankie is censured for his recent comments, then British comedy will be a sadder institution.

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2010/12/24/frankie-boyle-racism-storm-bosses-back-comic-115875-22804030/ 

The Land of the Free?

Wondering what dirty tricks the US admin has hidden up his sleeve for Julian Assange? We've already got the trumped up sex charges which gave an excuse for an InterPol arrest warrant, we have the idiotic bonehead, and possibly the US's next president, Sarah Palin screaming for him to be 'hunted like Bin Laden', but what if all of this doesn't stick?

Well, clearly the US Admin is feeling rather peeved. After all, they're being exposed and revealed as the duplicitous, bullying dullards they really are, and their lack of understanding of international affairs has been exposed as stunning. They must be incandescent too to realize that their 'friends and allies' now know precisely what they think of them. This must be a massive embarrassment for them.

The big thing though is that we now all know this, and lots more incredibly shocking stuff is set to be released, whether or not Assange remains a free man - and we have the proof of this. It's no longer information shared amongst a small group of cronies 'in the know', it's world wide exposure, with massive publicity to boot.

Being exposed, and vulnerable, the US Admin will want blood, and lots of it. They'll want Assange. Then they'll look for victims amongst their own kind, and eventually, we'll have show trials which will make 'Mama Mia' look like a cornershop production. It's the American way. Let's just hope American people, now in possession of WikiLeaks facts are now a little clearer on what goes on inside their country, and how their politicians hold the rest of the world in so much evident contempt!

I find it somewhat ironic that the Russian newspaper Pravda (Truth), former mouthpiece of the Soviet Union's repressive Communist Party, now reports on their fears for press & personal freedoms within the USA. How times do change.

What next for Assange though? No doubt the CIA baddies are plotting plots. Poisoned fish next? a re-run of the ricin-tipped umbrella routine? Radioactive soup, or maybe even abduction by aliens, perhaps those locked away in Area 51? 

Who knows... but they WILL be plotting!

An ice age cometh?

It's beginning to get more & more dull & snow-like here in the Vale, I'm actually feeling the much anticipated blizzard is on the way.

Keep having visions of that film, 'The day after tomorrow'. I wonder if... ?

(Scientists say an ice age is 'at least 60,000 years' overdue!)

The curse of the Stannah stairlift!

Michael Parkinson is now appearing on Funeral Expenses Plan ads... guess he must be about to go into a care home & needs the extra funds!

He's just one step ahead of June Whitfield & the Stannah stairlift ad ~ usually means about 6 months before drawing on the aforementioned funeral plan!

As if we're stoopid!

Watching an old - but especially frank edition of 'Mock the Week'. Hugh Dennis is skillfully 'mocking', but blatantly telling the truth about Diana & David Kelly. The Royals & Tony Bliar jokingly, but obviously being accused of murder.

Just thinking, consequentially, how frustrating it must be for Mohamed Al Fayed & Mrs. David Kelly, knowing absolutely that your loved ones were brutally assassinated by UK special forces, but that bogus legal systems ensure they'll never be able to prove it. 

The least credible cover stories in history, too. 

Julian Assange: We need people like you! x.

Wagner & the X Factor spoilers...

Simon Cowell is reputed to secretly want Wagner to appear in the X Factor finals, or even win the show! Simon owns SyCo, the show's production company, and apparently, ratings are 'thru the roof' as a result of public discontent over Wagner's continued, and voter-rigged survival.

...and pigs will fly, perhaps!

Listening to a priest make a total ass of himself by explaining, passionately, that GM crops will lead to ‘rabies & other horrific pestilence’ taking grip of the nation!

Let’s hope that cloning livestock doesn’t lead to explosive, fire-breathing, flying pigs incinerating the nation & bringing terror well beyond the Muslim population alone!

British Greed... sorry, GAS!

At a time when we're being twisted & screwed by (unnecessary) 'austerity' measures, where taxes are rising, wages are falling & where systems, services and people are failing, British Gas, a UK company running a multi-£billion profit, INCREASE their fuel prices by 7% for the winter 'to protect the interests of their (obscenely rich) share holders'.

The greedy bastards!

What a waste...

Complete respect & sombre remembrance to all those whose lives were lost in wars & conflict; but utter contempt & disrespect to leaders, who whilst safe in their closeted offices & palaces, sent them off to die, often on hopeless, pointless, avoidable missions. 

If they were human, and they had consciences, they'd not be able to live with the misery they've caused.

Sack the shoe-shine boy!

Just heard on BBC News that the Prime Minister, David Cameron has 175 staff in his Downing Street office. If they each earned an average of just £30k, that's over £5 MILLION per year. And we're expected to tighten our belts & face extreme austerity? 


Sack the shoe-shine boy for starters!

God save the queen?

The UK's queen, Elizabeth, has apparently joined Facebook. Well, really! 

 

Having demonstrated repeatedly that it doesn't even recognize top British TV & film stars or shows, and even having a slave to put toothpaste on its toothbrush, it no more understands what 'Facebook' is, than wipes its own asse.

Horizon: To infinity & beyond...

HORIZON... To infinity & Beyond is now on BBC iPlayer.

It's worth a look > they'll expalin everything I've written below...

Everything you're about to read here seems impossible and insane,

beyond science fiction. Yet it's all true.

Awesome worlds, some totally alien - and some identical copies of out own Earth, complete with us & our

own thoughts too... Scientists believe there's an infinite number of them.

Scientists now believe there may really be a parallel universe - in fact, there may be an infinite number

of parallel universes, and we just happen to live in one of them. These other universes contain space,

time and strange forms of exotic matter. Some of them may even contain you, in a slightly different form.

Astonishingly, scientists believe that these parallel universes exist less than one millimetre away from us.

In fact, our gravity is just a weak signal leaking out of another universe into ours.

Awesome fiction from James Cameron, but mathematically certain to be 100% real in one of the many

of the parallel universes scientists now believe must exist... or rather in an infinite number of them!

The same but different

For years parallel universes were a staple of the Twilight Zone. Science fiction writers loved to speculate on

the possible other universes which might exist. In one, they said, Elvis Presley might still be alive or in another

the British Empire might still be going strong. Serious scientists dismissed all this speculation as absurd. But now it seems the speculation wasn't absurd enough. Parallel universes really do exist and they are much stranger than even the science

fiction writers dared to imagine.

Greater dimensions

It all started when superstring theory, hyperspace and dark matter made physicists realise that the three

dimensions we thought described the Universe weren't enough. There are actually 11 dimensions. By the

time they had finished they'd come to the conclusion that our Universe is just one bubble among an infinite

number of membranous bubbles which ripple as they wobble through the eleventh dimension.

A creative touch

Our own Earth, we think of it, and us as being unique. If the latest scientific theories are correct, there

are actually an infinite number of earths spread throughout our universe, and many more in parallel

universes, many with copies of us living identical lives, and thinking identical thoughts.

Mind blowing, isn't it?

Now imagine what might happen if two such bubble universes touched. Neil Turok from Cambridge, Burt Ovrut

from the University of Pennsylvania and Paul Steinhardt from Princeton believe that has happened. The result?

A very big bang indeed and a new universe was born - our Universe. The idea has shocked the scientific

community; it turns the conventional Big Bang theory on its head. It may well be that the Big Bang wasn't

really the beginning of everything after all. Time and space all existed before it. In fact Big Bangs may happen

all the time.

Of course this extraordinary story about the origin of our Universe has one alarming implication. If a collision

started our Universe, could it happen again? Anything is possible in this extra-dimensional cosmos. Perhaps out

there in space there is another universe heading directly towards us - it may only be a matter of time before we

collide.

Horizon, originally shown on BBC2 is now available for download & viewing on BBC iPlayer in the UK, and can be

downloaded via Vuze internationally.

A trip to Pandora!

Been reading about our nearest neighboring star, Proxima Centauri. It's only 4.2 light years away, just 30.9 trillion km. Sadly, with out current technology, it would take us over 70,000 years to get there! 


The furthest visible stars are 13.2 BILLION light years away, and by cosmologists' standards, they're still fairly local, at just over 123,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 km away! 


Think of taking a trip there!!

Th biggest con trick of them all?

Over history, the UK has been a tropical paradise, a semi-desert, a temperate grasslands and an icy wasteland. Similarly, the Mediterranean Sea has rotated between glacier thru sea, to hostile desert, devoid of life. The entire globe has undergone natural climate change since time began, and Scientists know this by looking at rocks, fossils and a hundred other climatic 'indicators' of change.

It's obvious our climate is now changing again - a it does about every 150,000 years since its surface first solidified. Things naturally speed up at the end of each cycle, as has been demonstrated clearly & scientifically but intelligent men with test-tubes & stuff. We may be heading to another ice age, or to something more balmy, and we may have pretty horrible consequences on the way.

However - man's influence on climate change is minimal. Carbon dioxide output from calciferous rocks, which erode naturally, is 10,000 times the total of planetary man-made emissions, and other gases known to cause global warming. Man's influence - even at our ecologically most grim, is a mere fraction of what happens naturally - and is therefore out of our control.

Yet Governments choose to frighten us by telling us tales of our grim future, and use false science to suggest man's 'non-green' lifestyle is killing the entire planet. Several scientific researchers have been caught red handed using invalid and even falsified data, the very data used by the UK Government to 'prove' man's role in climate change.

Venus, our nearest planetary neighbor has never hosted life, of any kind, yet it is the Solar System's biggest & most extreme example of Global Warming. Even though, due to it's distance from the sun, it should be pretty much like earth, it's surface is so hot as to be molten, natural global warming in action, in the extreme, no man involved!

The same government, in fact, that is limiting our lives, demonizing cars & vehicle drivers, charging individuals, businesses & communities literally billions of pounds in extra taxes, charges, changing our life-styles and wrecking the world, on 'evidence' which is scientifically flawed and under-pinned by invalid data.

Is there a connection - man is guilty of effecting climate change, and government's reap millions in extra taxes, as people suffer as they are forced to carry the burden? Call me an old cynic.. but I think so!

Global warming.. it's a load of hot air, a massive money-spinner, and perhaps the biggest confidence trick of them all!

AWOL!

But no fear... more updates to follow soon!

Snoozeville Swine Flu Outbreak: The terror continues!

'Mercurial' Reporter Jim Bland, with the flu.

Top government scientists are investigating a massive 

outbreak of Swine Flu at various locations in Somerwest North. 

The outbreaks are centered on Snoozeville-on-Sea 

(population 71,758). The infection is rapidly spreading,

with over 500 people now suffering flu-like symptoms and

with lemons and other pork products being removed from 

public sale and local pigs being sheltered in church buildings 

as a precaution.

Chief Medical Officer Melville Vernacular (below) is suspicious 

of events - suggesting the illness may have a sinister and 

possibly unearthly cause. Shortly before disappearing during

a routine medical procedure, he told Snoozeville Mercurial 

reporter, Jim Bland, that he had analyzed the virus responsible

for causing the flu. He said "It's life, Jim, but not as we know it"

- adding that the presence of dilithium in its DNA crystal 

structure suggested alien origins.

Melville Vernacular at SHADO HQ, Snoozeville-on-Sea.

Attempts to contact Vernacular for further comments were met 

with an official wall of silence - a brief statement saying that 

he had had 'an unfortunate accident in his lab' and was 'unavailable'.

Science reporter Helen Harbinger thought it 'unusual' for dilithium

to be found on earth, and that it had only previously been seen 

embedded deep within meteorites from the far reaches of the 

universe, well beyond Bristol. She further commented that it would 

be 'gravely worrying' should alien viruses have made their way to 

Somerwest - as who knows what they could mutate into, and what

havoc they could wreak.

Asked if this could be the beginning of some kind of unimaginable alien invasion, she said that she could not imagine it, and went white, before returning to imagine more imaginable things.

When asked to comment about events, the newly-erected Mayor of Snoozeville, Colonel Sir Reginald Totterdown-Clipping (retired) said 

that Snoozeville was a spiffing town, with lots of attractions such 

as an exciting Grand Pier and a wondrous entertainment center, 

Tropicana, offering hours of joy to every girl and every boy.

The newly-erected Mayor of Snoozeville-on-Sea, Colonel Sir 

Reginald Totterdown-Clipping (retired) shown here at a fancy 

dress party in Cometville-St.Cleeve. He denies the charges.

Sir Reginald Totterdown-Clipping is 82.

(C) AFP 2009

Swine Flu Strikes!

Swine Flu affects the Central Nervous System causing temporary 

madness and profuse dribbling. Later, it attacks the skin, causing huge 

warts the size of grapefruits.

Panic sets in in the sleepy county of Somerwest North, where Swine Flu,

(formerly known as the 'black death' or 'plague') is diagnosed in the idyllic 

sea-side town of Snoozeville-on-Sea, famed for its miles of brown sands 

& medically-therapeutic mud.

The outbreak, diagnosed this afternoon is said to involve up to ten people, 

all displaying flu-like symptoms & the characteristic spreading of the nose & feet. All have been showing a particular fascination for raw bacon for a number of days,

another symptom of the illness.

The Salvation Army have been mobilized to seal off Snoozeville, however, the 

roads were still freely open at 5pm, when the nearby resort of Lower Cometville

St. Cleve was quarantined by accident instead due to an issue with a second-hand

Sat Nav unit.

Mike Jobsworth, from the local newspaper The Snoozeville Mercurial said that the 

disease had probably started out at the local superstore, Saintsburg's - which

had a reputation for selling particularly dodgy pork products, including pasta, 

broad beans and full-fat milk. He was not able to comment further , saying that

it would be more than his job was worth to do so.

The Mayor of Snoozeville, Captain Reginald Dunder-Trout (Retired) said that 

Snoozeville was a particularly beautiful holiday resort where one could still get Bed & Breakfast for under £20, recommending Looking Road in the process.

The Mayor is 76.

(C) AFP News Services

Destiny?

Hate to say it, but [most] humans are transparent, predictable, formulaic, ephemeral, full of self-interest & shallow beyond belief. To the point of being intensely tiresome, individual human actions are easy to forecast, and breaking of expected behavioral patterns occur rarely.

I once thought I was so totally wrong when I believed, as a youngster that life was a pre-programmed event, following pre-ordained routes & with fully-pre-defined outcomes. The more I experience, the more often I witness different humans following identical patterns, the more certain I am, sadly, that I was right.

What if free-will did not exist, and that individual humans on what we believe to be Earth were merely automatons, blindly following pre-programmed instructions, leading to the same outcomes, whatever they did, or whatever 'free' decisions they thought they were making?

What if they were pre-programmed units, existing in some kind of organic - or electronic matrix? They'd never know.. they'd just carry on living what they thought were their own lives as the cogs turned & they reached their pre-planned conclusions.

What if humans were alone - entirely - and everything they experience, their lives, their families, friends & actions were actually fabrications - only happening as part of a matrix or feigned reality?

Answer: They'd never know. And they never will > unless they're pre- programmed to discover, at some future point, for some unknown reason?

And who, or what would be mastering the puppetry, were this to be the case?

Korea'ing into stormy waters?

Kim Jung Il, North Korea's insane leader. He's as mad as a box of frogs at a lunatics convention in Cuckooville.

North Korea is an odd place. One of very few countries, perhaps 6 which are totally militaristic (everyone's technically in the army) and where the State officially comes before family, friends & humanity itself.

Everyone wears a 'uniform' and must be a member of the communist party. There are compulsory meetings every night, and weekends are taken up at massive parades and ceremonies the only function of which is to 'praise our glorious leader, Kim Jung Il'.

People are afraid to have friends - as friends can, and do report what you say, do or think  to a network of spies found everywhere, all the time. Everyone has a job - but it's chosen for you, and you can't refuse.

The State is broke. There's no money around and no food. People are literally starving. They have no contact at all with the outside world. Radio & TV signals from abroad are jammed, and trying to obtain information from outside leads to a harsh jail sentence. There are no 'free' TV or radio stations, and the press is totally controlled, containing stories praising Kim Jung Il, the wonders of communism & the great 'victories' of the Korean army against the evils of capitalism. Propaganda posters praising the wonders of Kim Jung Il are everywhere.

Borders are closed & fiercely guarded - no one gets across. Korea has no friends. It is not in the United Nations & is sanctioned by the rest of the world for human rights abuses, state killings & illegal dealings with nuclear arms and fissile materials. Korea is tolerated by the China, but they don't have a good relationship, and this is getting worse.

The Korean language is unique - unrelated & totally different from any other language on the planet. To an outsider, it sounds a little like Japanese & looks vaguely Chinese, but there are no connections at all with either language.

Worryingly, Korea has spent every dollar of its wealth on building up its army and on amassing a huge nuclear arsenal, on weapons, rockets, nuclear-reprocessing plants & other military stuff.

And a total madman is in charge of all of it. Kim Jung Il has no appreciation of the world, or North Korea's place in it. He rules his country, his people & his massive nuclear forces with a rod of iron & in absolute terror.

And now, because he feels ignored and alone, he's firing off nuclear rockets & threatening to use them against his country's neighbors, and making ridiculous demands on how his part of the world should be run.

Nuclear weapons are seriously bad news. Nuclear weapons in the hands of an autocratic madman in a land full of compliant, robotic zombies is a terrifying thought.

There'll be trouble here!

To Tweet or not to Tweet?

 

Want to know what's goin on?

Let a little bird tell you... it's good to Twitter!

Twitter, I have to admit I do like it, and overall, it's probably worth having >> but I'm very suspicious of it too.

I have just over 60 'followers' though the number varies a lot, even on a daily basis. It seems odd though that almost all of my 'followers' seem closely linked with key-words I've tweeted... for example, I've mentioned I love to surf... and I'm then quickly followed by GUL wetsuits, Surfers against Sewage and other obviously-linked commercial groups, without ever having visited, or added them.

I go to Whitby & tweet how nice it is, and upload a few pix. I'm then followed by 'Visit Whitby' >> surely no coincidence? I mention I have an interest in aliens & spacey / sciency stuff, and as if by magic, I get followed by Cambridge Scientific Services, and, oddly, a legal firm offering assistance fro 'illegal aliens' Pffft... Have they landed?

I'm pretty sure all out tweets are sieved and filtered - and the 'juicy' commercial bits are recognised by some intelligent computer program, which sometimes gets it wrong, and then sold on to 'relevent' commercial institutions.... we then get 'followed' - and the commercial guys have a ready-made audience for offers & commercial tweets ad infinitum.. ..

I fully expect to receive an ever growing number of tweets particularly tailored to my so-called interests, however the software identifies them... and perhaps, this is more of an intrusion into my privacy than I had wanted...

Still, for the moment, it's fun, even if only 3 or 4 guys following me are genuine... Sometimes, I wish I was more simple and far less of a cynic!

You can join Twitter at Twitter.com, and it works really well with most mobile phones, via applications such a 'Tweetie' or 'Twitteriffic'. If you do join up >> Follow TorchwoodCF for all the news & shizz from Torchwood Territory & Somerwest County!

Laters!
CT